Would you like to see inside my mind?
Those secrets I attempt to hide?
Okay fine, I'll take you there
Don't be shocked by what you hear...
The blackness shines through night and day
There's only one themed tune in play
The lyrics playing death non-stop
Now I know your jaw will drop
I think of razors, blood and pain
You say I'm satanist again
This is not true, I do believe...
In God, the holy... Adam... Eve...
But anyways back to my head
Where everything is pretty dead
Where desire and obsession meet
And hatred's always at its' heat.
Where dark clouds storm
And rain falls down
Where sad thoughts form
And flowers frown...
Where everything is such a mess
High distemper and distress
Where loneliness is all that's there
And nothing ever will be clear...
Where suicidal thoughts come out to play
And arguments just brew all day
Where an intervention is my only hope
And I am slipping from the slope.
Where twisted thoughts are common too,
So yeah, welcome to the zoo.
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Comments
The candid tone lends well to the absurd take on an otherwise morbid subject. So all in all, it is a highly pleasing work.
One minor point (nothing serious) but some of your ellipses are two dots, not three...
Apart from that, this is a great - if menacing - piece of poetry.
Well done.
--
'A picture paints a thousand words. My words paint a thousand pictures.'- A Wise Fool
I like the sarcasm, rythm skips in some places, but you we can say it only enhances the chaos
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